Welcome to Sunday 1st January 2012. Yes, my first blog posting for the year, meaning yet another year has passed. One can only hope it’s better than the years that have proceeded it.
The people living down the road are obviously planning to enjoy this year more than usual. It’s 10 am New Years Day, a balmy 30 degrees Celsius, and they’re still partying hard despite the local constabulary having attended the property at least three times that I am aware of... perhaps the police are in a partying mood, or there is free booze on tap. I don’t know, and I don’t much care.
Since I missed posting my Christmas message, I sincerely hope you had a good one and Santa gave you everything you wished for. Considering my wish list for Christmas 2010 went ignored, my list for Christmas 2011 was very simple and straight forward... just like my good self. No I didn’t ask Santa for a new house with a swimming pool, tennis court, sauna and room for a My Little Pony. And despite the fact that I stumbled across a very nice car in the toy cattle dog, I didn’t even ask for that.
Instead, I thought for Christmas 2011 I would use reverse psychology on the jolly man in the red suit to see what would happen. So with all the finesse, style, grace and will power this tiny teddy could muster, my list was blank. Not a single word was scribbled on the perfect page, it remained untouched and untarnished by these tiny paws. No brightly decorated tree with flashing lights sat in the corner of the House Human’s living room, and no cookies, milk or carrots were left for Santa and his reindeer to enjoy. And just like the previous year, I got a big fat nothing. Not a single sausage, not a card, not even a Merry Christmas from the House Human. Once again, Christmas sucked more than the vacuum cleaner.
So what will 2012 bring? Dunno! But one thing I do know is I have made no New Year Resolution because I can’t stick to them; it’s too hard. However, I have decided I no longer want fame, I no longer want fortune (I can’t afford it), and I no longer want what I know I cannot have... success. Regardless of all the wishing and hoping that I have done over the past two years in trying to remain out of the toy box, I have come to realise that this little bear has very little talent. I am not wise, I am not witty, can’t write for Jack (the pile of rejection letters prove that), and dare I say it... I’m not even remotely amusing. Yes, sadly, I have become bitter and twisted with a jaded view of the world. I guess that’s what happens when you attempt to become something that you’re not... human. Skin me now while I still have fur and I may make a reasonable bearskin rug for the toy box and that’s about all.
Despite my whining and grizzling though, I do thank everyone who takes the time to read my blog complete with annoying advertising that no-one bothers to pay attention to, and for following me on Twitter. While I know I will never have more than my current number of followers, nor earn a living through doing either of these things, it is nice to know that my rants are read everywhere from Russia to the UK, Australia to America, Norway to India and everywhere in between. It is also a pleasure to know I have a way of expressing myself without being judged as something less than insignificant.
With 2012 underway, it is time for me to find a job if I am to remain part of the outside world. After a lot of discussion, I have dropped out of University. It was a hard decision to make as I only had two more subjects to do before completing my Masters but, as the House Human can no longer afford to send me it is time for me to earn my keep. I hear there may be some work stacking shelves and collecting trolleys at the local supermarket. Not sure if they will consider me though given a can of soup is somewhat bigger than I am. But here’s hoping. If you can think of any other career path I can follow send me an email – I love the correspondence and pictures I get from you, they are always very funny, and yes, often naughty.
In the mean time, I wish you all a very happy and prosperous New Year. I hope you can see your resolutions through. And most importantly, I wish you and your families all the love and happiness the world has to offer for a better life. May your dreams come true.
Until next time,
Best wishes and love
Theodore H. Bear
