It’s been an eerily quiet month, hence no blog update. The quietness can only mean one of two things; the house human is on holidays (which I very much doubt, because this is something he never does); or he has flipped out and flopped in a funk… Odds are it’s the latter of the two.

And if perchance I should be foolhardy enough to venture into the lounge-room to prove this thought true, I know in the depths of my white poly-filled heart I will be confronted by one of the most distressing sights a little bear should ever see.

A scene that will, and has in the past left me scared for life.

A devastatingly horrific setting of a skinny, long haired, middle-age man sprawled across the couch, complete with ill-fitting Y Fronts, empty Pepsi cans and flatulence. Think Homer Simpson meets Glenn Quagmire come Entourages - Johnny Drama and you will being to get an inkling of the picture I am trying to paint. Throw in the thick rich chocolate topping oozing slowly down the chin of the house human as he tries his best to eat his way through yet another tub of double chocolate, chocolate chip ice-cream – and you’re an extra step closer to my living nightmare.

Yes sadly, it has become an all too common scene at our place. And it is days like these we choose to remain safely tucked up in the toy box and not to venture out through fear that we will be tossed to the curb. Tossed aside in the vein hope that this will, in some way sooth the gnawing nagging heart and clear a foggy mind of the house human while in a fugue state. So much for a mid-life crisis being nothing more than a temporary hiatus, a speed bump on the journey of life – it seems to me that it’s more of a giant excavation, and you don’t want to get too close to the edge in fear that you will fall through to an abyss of nothingness where the darkness eats you from the inside out. If this is what means to be human, all I can say is ‘thank the stars I am a bear – and I’m already stuffed’.

Given the house humans’ current frame of mind, I got to thinking, what makes humans happy beyond all doubt? And, is there really a path to true happiness? If there is, please tell me it is paved with gold and not good intentions; that it will lead to the Land of Oz and not to yet another thinly disguised, tragically droll, predictable plot-line that imagines itself to be a heartwarming story of life.

Short of telling him to get a life – preferably his own -, to help him out us toys got together and we did a stock-take of his life, to see all the good stuff he has going on. You know the count your blessings sort of thing. He didn’t like what we came up with. We even went as far as buying him the The Dalai Lama's Book of Wisdom, his The Meaning of Life, and Winnie the Pooh’s Book, Tao of Pooh and Te of Piglet . Both books, but particularly the one of Pooh’s seemed to brighten his day somewhat.

I thought about suggesting that he reinvent himself, create a new persona that he liked. The sort of person he would like the world to see. But perhaps in his case that is not the best thing – he has had more comebacks and reinvented himself more times than I can count. Cher and Madonna would be proud of his efforts in that area.

We also had heard that exercise can help fight the funk. So like the dutiful human he is, he went out and got himself a gym membership. Like most things though he didn’t have sufficient motivation to go. So now he has 12 months worth of gym classes. Oh well, at least it will make a good Christmas present for someone.

Finally I resorted to making a list. I have written it on the front of the fridge with permanent marker, and because it’s in the biggest letters my little paws could manage, he will see it every day:

Theo Bears Top 10 Tips for Humans to be Happy

1. Despite what others say or think, no one is perfect, except for me – learn to like and love yourself – you are your own worst enemy.

2. You are never alone; you always have a shoulder to cry on; even if it is only a toy bear.

3. Focus on the positive by thinking of at least one good thing you achieved today, like making someone smile… Admittedly we did have a bit of a chuckle when your bits fell out of your Y Fronts, so that’s your good deed over and done with for now.

4. Let go of the past. While you can learn from it, it serves no meaningful purpose if you only choose to remember the bad things. Like the day the dog ripped my leg off – I now know not to go near the dog. I also know that I can tease and make fun of the dog for as long as I like providing she is on the other side of the screen door… and remains there.

5. Set a small goal and work toward it. Once you’re there choose another one slightly bigger – let’s start by say… cleaning the bathroom sink, it’s not bear hair in the plug hole you know.

6. To lift you spirits watch a funny movie for once. I swear if you watch another one that puts you on a downer, I’ll beat on you.

7. Find someone like a friend or relative you like to spend time with and make a day or night of it. Yes that will mean you have to make at least one friend first, but please try… for me.

8. Don’t think too much about the future, you can’t control it and I know how much it can hurt your small brain when you do. So just sit back and enjoy the ride by being the best you can.

9. Eat a good balanced diet and exercise. I am spooning the ice-cream down the drain as you read this so there will be nothing left in the fridge… what ya gunna do now cause that just leaves the month old apples; tomatoes; lettuce and box of cereal. By the way dude the shops are closed.

10. Find something that inspires you and do it. Remember that personal development course you wanted to do? Well you’re enrolled and class starts Monday 9 am. Better be there or I’ll call the truancy officer to come and get you.

After having written my list, I realise that being and remaining positive for humans is hard work. Much harder than it is for bears by far, and it appears as though it is something that can be much easier to achieve for some humans than it is for others. Perhaps the true path to happiness is hidden in finding out what we would really like to be doing, and then taking simple steps to doing it.

I have always figured that life is about freedom of choice and being comfortable in our own fur. We can choose our friends, choose where we live the majority of the time, where we work, our hobbies and our lovers. Over the years I have become strangely aware of one of the most common choices humans tend to make, that of choosing not to see past the end of their nose. Perhaps if they looked at themselves honestly from another perspective (not necessarily how they imagine others would see them) they may well find the answer or solution they so desire is like the television remote - sitting patiently on the couch beside them waiting to change the channel-.

Perhaps when we learn to accept the things we can’t change, and change the things that are within our control, we will all find that the true path to happiness is the one found in the space that separates the two.

Life should leave you wanting less as you get older, not more.

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